Love has grown to be one of the most mysterious yet sophisticated emotions we feel. Love manifests itself in relationships, and a relationship goes through multiple stages of love.
During this development, one has to go through multiple stages of a relationship and navigate them in a way that ensures a successful love life.
Be it with our parents, friends, or partners, each of us has experienced how a relationship grows over time.
However, the opposite can also be true; they may sometimes fail.
Naturally, no human being wants their relationships to fail.
However, it is still a living possibility that can be prevented if you can swiftly go through the different stages of a relationship.
Today, we see more broken hearts than cheerful faces on the streets.
The idea of love in the modern era comes from movies, TV series, or social media, where everything is beautiful and organized.
This results in unreasonable expectations that shatter in the face of reality.
The stages of love take time, attention, and absolute involvement. All three elements should come from both partners to ensure a successful relationship in the long run.
It’s not just “Let’s fall in love, buy a cottage in the mountains and live happily ever after.”
I’ve met countless people claiming they love their partner so much but don’t want to do the work. As a result, they often end up alone every six to twelve months seeking a new partner.
Naturally, they have to go through all the relationship stages again.
There are seven stages of a relationship: Attraction, Honeymoon, Uncertainty, Reality, Decision, Rekindling, and Teamwork.
These phases differ in length, intensity and emotional impact. During each stage, individuals experience a multitude of emotions that guide their actions.
To understand how the stages of a relationship develop over time, we first need to understand how a relationship really works.
How does a Relationship work?
In the context of human evolutionary development, a relationship is a sophisticated mechanism to ensure survival and family growth.
There’s a sense of seeking within every person to meet a partner.
Even after all the stages of a relationship are complete, you’ll still have that seeking in you.
This is what forces you to seek fulfilment in other areas of life such as health, career and more.
In simple words, human beings are never fully satisfied and progress is the only satisfaction that’s constant throughout the life.
In ancient times, people used to seek partners they believed could help them enhance their lives and ensure the continuation of the family.
Relationships, from the beginning of humanity, have been of a transacting nature.
Men brought certain skills to the table, like protecting, providing, and taking care of the family, and Women brought reproduction, nurturing, and cooking to the family dynamic.
Finally, they grew through the different stages of love.
Even today, if you’re finding a date on Tinder or heading out to a bar, you often analyze the other person based on some metrics you have set.
These can differ based on your values but still influence your decision.
A man wants specific things in a woman, and a woman wants specific things in a man.
Why? Because when they get into a relationship, it will be a transaction through all stages of a relationship.
Giving and receiving form the foundation of a relationship, and this transaction happens almost subconsciously through all stages of love.
When one partner fails to give enough and is only focused on receiving, this naturally drains the other partner.
Most couples struggle through the stages of a relationship because of this reason.
So the nature of a relationship is a transaction, and it works by giving and receiving equal values at all stages of a relationship, which satisfies both of you.
I wanted you to learn about this because when we go through the different relationship stages later, you’ll know precisely what should happen at what stage.
7 Stages of a Relationship
The stages of a relationship go through all sorts of things, from absolutely beautiful to horribly disastrous, and people capable of going through swiftly often win.
The seven stages of a relationship are attraction, honeymoon, uncertainty, reality, decision, rekindling and teamwork.
Before we start, one critical thing to point out is that in this entire process, ‘every little effort will count .’
This is a miss for most men because they usually think of a relationship on ‘auto-pilot’ that they can turn on and forget.
It doesn’t work like that. People go through multiple stages of love to finally become a strong team.
A relationship requires constant effort from both sides to emerge as successful.
It’s not a one-time event; it’s a regular happening, and work is required at all relationship stages.
When people say to “nurture” your relationship, it means to treat it as delicately as you treat a plant. It will need all the right ingredients through all stages of love.
If it doesn’t get that, it will turn into a toxic relationship.
Now that we understand the basis of a good relationship, and I hope you’re already in one like this, let’s explore the seven stages of a relationship.
Stage 1: The Attraction
Not every relationship starts off on instant chemistry; some relationships take time. However, attraction, for most people, happens almost instantaneously.
At this point, you don’t even think about the upcoming stages of love.
In the case of physical attraction, the first 30-60 seconds get you attracted. You see the person, they’re beautiful or smart, and you want to approach them.
You need to learn how to rizz for this to happen.
In the case of personality-based attraction, which is non-physical, it can take anywhere from 24 hours to months for attraction to develop.
This is one of the easy-going stages of a relationship because you tend to be so attracted to that person that you often overlook their flaws.
You think they are the perfect embodiment of all that is good and pure.
You are often occupied thinking about them, and all you want is to be with them 24×7. You even spot some signs she likes you.
This is also called the ‘addiction phase’ because your brain starts juggling up chemicals like Dopamine, Oxytocin, and Endorphins.
The addiction is so strong that your logic jumps out the window and love starts to bloom.
You’ll find yourself wondering if they like you and you’ll finally make an approach.
Note that the relationship hasn’t started yet, but I still one of the stages of a relationship because your brain has already accepted it as a potential reality.
In other words, even without the other person’s knowledge, you still find yourself in a one-sided relationship, thanks to your imagination.
This is where you truly start to get a sense of stages of love.
Once you approach them, and they say “Yes,” the relationship will finally become complete, with both sides now involved.
In this relationship stage, after their acceptance, you’ll start going on dates and assessing the person.
You’ll still overlook their flaws and find them perfect because the expectations that you built up earlier are now manifesting in reality.
What to do in this stage of a relationship?
It’s best to avoid awkwardness and try to be as natural as possible since this is the time to show your true self.
If they like you for who you truly are, it’s great, but if they don’t, at least you’ll be saved from a dead-end relationship.
You’ll still be single to find a date on Tinder.
When going on dates, it’s best to prepare a few questions and answers that communicate about you and ask them some get-to-know questions as well so they can open up too.
Since this is one of the earliest stages of a relationship, taking risks here is fine and even encouraged.
Stage 2: The Honeymoon
The Honeymoon is one of those stages of a relationship that you usually see in movies and TV series.
Everything here is as perfect as it can be, all thanks to the chemical cocktail in your brain.
Love hormone, also known as Oxytocin, and the Reward, also called Dopamine, fill up your brain.
You both have that twinkle in your eyes, and you’re more than likely to ignore the red flags.
This is because passion, intensity, and sex take over your thoughts in this stage of a relationship.
Your emotions overpower your thought and you find yourself smiling 24/7.
Ever wondered why they say love is blind?
It’s because when it happens, you often turn away from their flaws and focus only on what makes them so special.
Honeymoon is one of the prettiest stages of a relationship.
I hear men saying, “My girl is different” all the time, and it’s true.
To them, their girl is the most special woman on the planet, not because she is different, but because they think so.
This mental image is of perfection and the absolute embodiment of love and beauty. This is one of the purest stages of love.
In this stage of a relationship, you both are trying to get to know each other more intimately.
You both secretly think you’ve found the “one” because your behaviors and actions around each other are at their bests right now.
I also like to call this stage “Euphoria” because it is so beautiful that it almost cannot be described in words.
This relationship stage and the feelings associated with it are what people usually think of a relationship.
That is why, when things go haywire, they’re shocked to the core because their expectations of a relationship didn’t stand the reality of the relationship stages later.
In this stage of a relationship, people often prioritize the relationship before everything else, and this momentum sets the tone for what’s coming next.
What to do in this stage of a relationship?
This is one of the most beautiful stages of a relationship.
It’s best to enjoy this stage as much as possible while keeping reality in mind.
You should remember that your partner is absolutely beautiful, but they’re still human.
Try building trust with good actions to help you in further stages of love. You’ll need it soon.
Do not develop any expectations that can hurt you in the long run.
Always stay in reality and love them for who they are, as opposed to who you want them to be.
Stage 3: The Uncertainty
The third stage of a relationship starts the day you start to recognize things about your partner that aren’t so perfect anymore.
This is the uncovering of flaws, which will most likely make you question the certainty of a happy future with them.
This will be the first time you’ll experience a downward momentum in your relationship.
You’ll start reconsidering your decision to date them because those expectations you built in the attraction stage are finally meeting reality.
This is one of the toughest stages of a relationship.
You realize that there are differences between you and your partner, and you wake up from the trance.
The qualities you liked at first are starting to annoy you now.
The sudden realisation hits hard because everything you ‘wanted’ isn’t what you ‘have got’.
For example, her getting jealous will start to feel like possessiveness, and her generosity will now feel like irresponsible spending.
This is one of those stages of a relationship where conflicts emerge but may not be entirely destructive.
They won’t be too significant because you and your partner don’t want to crush the relationship.
You both start to realize that discussing serious issues may wreck the relationship, and couples usually ignore this part. Effective communication jumps out the window.
This is one of those stages of love that truly tests you.
This is also called the “Avoidance” stage of a relationship.
Since we’re all human beings and we come from different areas of life, friction between two people is natural.
However, it starts to take a monstrous shape when irritation, annoyance, and power struggles increase.
Both of you will start to experience this stress, and the biological response to this will be to fight or take flight.
Out of all the stages of a relationship, this one specifically requires a mature couple to tackle the challenges.
You’ll even end up saying something as illogical as “Why aren’t we the same?” and you’ll realize that they can’t be the same as you because they’re unique.
What to do in this stage of a relationship?
It’s critical to remember that their “uniqueness” is what you fell in love with.
Your built-up expectations cannot be the reason for an unusual end to this relationship.
At this point, you need to learn to de-escalate conflicts with deep talk while treating each other respectfully.
No relationship stage should ever result in a lack of communication.
The best thing you both can do is sit down and talk about each other about why you are the way you are.
Human judgment ends when there’s a story attached to a personality.
Arguments and power struggles will happen in a relationship, but it doesn’t mean your love is reaching an end.
It just means you’re learning to match reality now.
This is one of those stages of a relationship that teaches you maturity in love.
Stage 4: The Reality
If you are past the uncertainty you thought would destroy your relationship, welcome to the reality.
This stage is what dating coaches call “hard work” because not doing enough here will wreck your relationship.
In this stage of a relationship, truth, and vulnerability come to the surface.
You both start opening up to each other about everything that you were hiding.
You might even discover some major secrets she had kept.
This lets the expectations come down because “what I wanted” is now being replaced by “what I have,” and you’ll gradually start accepting all that there is.
This is the raw phase of a relationship where you’ll meet their insecurities and fears and allow them to open up completely.
And the young boy said, “Tell me your deepest, darkest secrets so I can dive deep into your soul and fight the demons you’re incapable of fighting.”
You’ll start to realize that what you have is much deeper than the fun and sexy stuff, and this will enable bond-building and the development of trust.
This is one of those stages of a relationship that results in healing and rebirth.
You are finally recovering from the massive blows you received in stage 3.
Share all you can about yourself, past relationships, friends, family, and more.
Tell her all that is to know about you and see if she’s still in love with you.
If she is, that’s beautiful, and if she isn’t, I believe we’ve hit a dead end.
If she opens up too, and you can’t accept her for what she is, the same end will occur.
However, this can be avoided if you’re actually in a mature relationship where you both can discuss things a little more deeply.
If you’re in a childish relationship that’s living in the delusion of perfection, you’ve reached the end of it.
What to do in this stage of a relationship?
We don’t want things to end for you. At MenVerve, we always want our boys to live as beautifully as they can, and love forms the beauty of life.
We recommend you start discussing things, irrespective of what comes next.
Most people don’t discuss deep thoughts because they think it’ll lead to a conflict, and while this may be true, it’s still necessary.
In all stages of a relationship, you can expect some conflict at times.
Conflicts are part of a relationship, but if your thoughts and expectations are not addressed, the relationship will end.
Learn to sacrifice your peace for a little while to save your relationship.
Even during a conflict, be respectful and caring of her. Sit her down, get a glass of wine, and discuss things like two best friends do.
Stage 5: The Decision
This is the point of making a decision.
If you weren’t successful in discussing deep thoughts in stage 4, this relationship stage would be an emotional rollercoaster for you.
You might experience emotional breakdowns, intense arguments, walking away from each other, or assessing other options for partners.
This is usually a peak stress stage because it’s filled with uncertainty and doubt about what will happen to your relationship.
Try to get yourself to peace with mindfulness meditations, if you can.
If the earlier stages of a relationship didn’t go down well, this would start to feel like an emotional hell to both of you.
In this stage of a relationship, people begin to contemplate leaving and finding new partners to relive the honeymoon stage.
While it’s natural to think so, but every relationship will inevitably go through the same stages again, meaning you’ll find yourself here again in no time.
Let not the fear of suffering make you run; face it with courage.
If you do decide to leave, make sure it’s not just out of discomfort but also genuine reasons.
If you keep quitting relationships because of disagreements, your chances of building a relationship are slim.
It’s best to do these three things before making a decision:
- Sit down and have a deep talk about what’s happening in the relationship
- Then talk about what you would like from each other
- Try to see if the new plans are working for a while
If you notice any signs of a toxic relationship, its a worthy reason to get out.
If you both had a good talk, then hold back the decision for a few months and see how things work out.
However, if nothing is fixed by this point, then you can either leave or stay to further fix the relationship.
What to do in this stage of a relationship?
While this can be a pretty harsh relationship stage for emotionally sensitive people, we still recommend it’s better to consider a new path before making a decision.
Between the stay and leave decision, there’s the path of fixing, and we’d suggest taking that.
You can also approach a couple’s therapist because they are usually good at spotting patterns and fixing relationships.
Remember that this is one of those stages of a relationship that’ll require a very mature discussion.
It would be great if you both could work on your communication in a relationship to convey how you feel and why it matters to you.
Doing the work will require you to understand your own role in the damage caused and fix that.
She also has to find things in her that may be wrecking the relationship.
This is one of those stages of love that demands thoughtfulness.
Finally, you both can sit down, discuss why things are going wrong, and fix those little habits or opinions that are causing friction.
Even if you both decide to part ways, be a gentleman about it and do it constructively.
Wish each other well and break up like adults. If you find getting over your breakup hard, read how to power through a break-up.
Stage 6: The Rekindling
If you both decided to sit down and fix the relationship, welcome to your second Honeymoon.
The fact that you are here means you both have done an incredible job. Congratulations!
This is the stage of a relationship where love actually starts to take a more mature shape.
You accept each other completely and put your focus into making peace instead of fighting about the differences.
You rediscover the elements of a relationship.
You’ve learned from your mistakes, and you are less likely to repeat them again.
You finally surrender to the reality of your relationship and the beauty of love with all its purity and challenges.
You accept everything, the good and the bad, because its all yours.
Now, you don’t worry about losing your partner because there is trust, safety, and a bond of another kind.
Your commitment will deepen after this point.
Most couples, consider taking bigger steps like moving in together or traveling to a foreign country for a vacation.
You now know that there will always be the unknown and the unexpected in life, but you are capable of fighting anything.
You can expect surprises, playfulness, and deep talks to happen at this stage of a relationship.
This is because the trust needed for a relationship to succeed is now achieved.
Couples at this relationship stage feel more satisfied than the first honeymoon we discussed above.
The reason is simple. In the honeymoon phase, you were in love but were also uncertain of the relationship.
Once you’ve overcome a hurdle like the Decision Stage, you’ve solidified your love to a certain extent.
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What to do in this stage of a relationship?
Enjoy this stage as much as you both can. This is what makes love so delightful for human beings.
Take time to step back sometimes and observe what makes your partner perfect for you.
Try going on double dates with your couple friends and take trips.
If you both think you’re mature enough to take a big step, maybe move in if it’s not too early.
Living together will only grow the bond that you two already have.
Remember that this stage, if went beautifully, will lead to the best part of love, Teamwork.
Stage 7: The Team
This is the final and longest-lasting stage of a relationship. At this time, the couple has become a team.
They’re finally in a long-term, loving, and exclusive relationship where happiness and trust is all that survived.
This is where you realize that you two are actually best friends that love each other.
You are partners now, and you can spend months side by side without conflict.
Even in a long distance relationship, you won’t experience any particular conflicts.
You finally become one unit.
This stage happens at different times for different couples.
One way to find out if you’re at this stage is to ask yourself one simple question.
“Can I be myself with this person without the fear of anything wrecking the relationship?”
If the answer is yes, you’ve approached the final destination of this relationship.
By now, you must’ve realized that a relationship takes a good amount of work, healthy communication and respect.
Now you can move ahead with confidence, and if she’s a high value woman, you both can make serious decisions.
Most couples make decisions like starting a business together or even getting married.
You both can now work together on everything and contribute to the world as one, powerful unit.
However, don’t spend too much time working that you forget to invest time into your relationship.
This is one of those stages of a relationship where you both should win the world and do it together with confidence.
If everything goes well, this stage will last as long as you want it to.
You will find yourself growing as an individual, acquiring more skill sets, and becoming more emotionally intelligent.
Her femininity will be in full swing and will add value to your masculinity and vice versa. You will become “one” at this point.
What to do in this stage of a relationship?
Flexibility, generosity, humor, self-care, and love will fill your life.
Now it’s your responsibility to ensure the continuity of this stage, and that will require some work, but not much.
Secure your wholeness as an individual, and let her be an individual.
While you might find yourself as “one unit,” you still are two different people, just on the same wavelength.
This is one of those stages of a relationship that values individuality but brings two people closer to each other.
Set up some healthy boundaries, and block your calendar for rituals like Wine Night or perhaps a board game night.
While there will be challenges waiting in the distance, you both are now well-equipped to fight off anything that comes your way.
Be generous, loving, and respectful to each other.
Do not forget to take her out on beautiful dates to the best places you can.
These little things will ensure that your relationship sustains for the longest time possible, and we wish for that.
Which relationship stage is the toughest?
While certain stages can seem hard to some people due to their emotional bandwidth, we do have an answer.
The uncertainty stage, the reality stage, and the decision stage are the toughest stages of a relationship.
Out of these three, the decision stage is the hardest relationship stage because you’re at a breaking point.
You don’t know what’s right or wrong, and you’re scared of wrecking the relationship.
The Bottomline
Relationships are complex and multifaceted, and they are bound to go through different relationship stages over time.
Each stage of a relationship will only help you enhance the experience of love.
Now that you know the different stages of a relationship, you can get through all phases swiftly.
Remember that the success of your relationship depends on the commitment and efforts of both partners.
Identify which stage of a relationship you’re in, sit down, and find ways to navigate through it.
After some time, you both would have built a much stronger and deeper connection that is only enriching your lives.
We wish for you to end up at stage 7 and live happily ever after.
All the best, King!
