Big Brother Talk: 20 Life Lessons For Young Men [2024]

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Throughout my life, I’ve seen a lot of things, felt a lot of moments, and experienced a lot of situations.

Each situation, person, or thing taught me something valuable.

These life lessons became the core of how I lead a successful life today.

Life lessons are important because if you’re not learning from life itself, who else will you run to?

Everybody charges money to teach even the littlest of things, but life is free.

For men, these life lessons hold incredible value because as men, our job is to uphold the structure of society.

We are the protectors, the guardians of society.

If we lose ourselves in the process of life, who will manage the world?

While women are great at managing things, men are equally important to balance things out.

In this discourse on the top 20 life lessons a man should learn, I’m going to share my journey with you.

Like your Big Brother, I’m going to share the deepest parts of my life, confessions that I haven’t shared anywhere because I don’t want you to make the same mistakes I did.

All of this is to let you know that life is very easy to navigate if you have a compass of wisdom with you.

Let’s learn the top 20 life lessons every man must know.

Top 20 Life Lessons for Young Men

These 20 life lessons are what I’ve learned throughout my young days and I want to share them with you so you don’t go through what I have experienced. Let’s learn.

#1 Nobody Lasts Long

When you’re young, it’s natural to think that your friends, family, and relationships are cemented and will last forever.

It’s natural for us humans to desire companionship and then expect it to last.

However, life brings a different plan to the game.

What you think will last won’t last because situations get in the way.

Situations either separate people gradually or break relationships off in an instant. This life lesson is the hardest to digest.

Think about it. How many friends did you have five years ago? What’s the count today?

It’s reduced. Right?

You didn’t even realize how gradually everybody left. This will happen throughout your life.

While some core people of your life may remain with you for the entire lifetime, many won’t.

If you have 100 friends today, I bet in the next five years, you’ll only have 3-5 left. In the subsequent five years, only 1-2 will be left. Those will last forever, the majority will leave.

People don’t leave because something’s not working out; they leave because situations sweep them away. Remember this life lesson.

Remember to foster good relationships with healthy communication to make them last as long as possible, but also know that many of them may not last five years from now.

#2 Life Will Break You

As long as there is life, there will also be chaos. Expecting your life to become sheer simplicity and peace isn’t feasible unless you’re planning to reside in a forest.

In a society, various types of people and situations emerge, making it impractical to envision life as an unbroken stream of peace and love.

Life will attempt to test your resilience, yet whether you succumb or persevere rests on your choice. This life lesson is often realised very late in life.

While some people may encounter life’s chaos and falter, others confront it and triumph.

However, the one inevitable truth is that life will challenge you.

Things will change. What exists today will not be there tomorrow.

The future will remain uncertain, and life will consistently deliver unforeseen blows, much like a sudden impact to the head with a brick.

This is your moment. This life lesson should be your guide in life.

Similar to a rock that must undergo the force of a hammer and chisel to transform into an idol, you too must endure these challenges to become a model for others.

Will life be just at all times? No.

Will life guide you toward a better destination if you endure hardships? Yes.

Recognize this, and persist. Refuse to falter; instead, rise above.

#3 Pleasures Are Not Joy

When you’re young, it’s natural to believe that delicious food, passionate encounters, and intoxicants encompass the essence of life. You revel in indulging in these experiences because they bring about happiness.

However, if this were true happiness, which endures indefinitely, why don’t these experiences persist?

Because they’re pleasures.

The pleasure derived from food diminishes once the meal is finished.
The pleasure stemming from sex fades once orgasm is attained.
The pleasure associated with intoxicants fades away within hours (after a horrible hangover).

If these were genuinely the founts of happiness, shouldn’t their effects be more enduring?

This life lesson is the hardest to remember because our senses naturally like instant gratification.

The true wellsprings of happiness lie within healthy relationships, engrossing hobbies, aspirations, and contributing to society.

The happiness derived from these pursuits lingers much longer, and crucially, they contribute positively to both your well-being and the world.

Excessive consumption of food can lead to weight gain. Excessive indulgence in sex might leave you feeling empty, and excessive use of intoxicants can result in mental instability.

However, fostering numerous healthy relationships, embracing fulfilling hobbies, nurturing ambitions, and participating in volunteer work only contribute positively to your life and the world.

It’s essential not to mistake fleeting pleasures for genuine joy. Remember this life lesson.

#4 Your Mind Should Serve You

Your mind can either be your greatest friend or your greatest enemy. How you treat it, tame it, and bring it under control determines its quality.

All suffering and joy spring from the mind. How? Let’s learn through an example.

A breakup occurs, and you blame your ex for your suffering. But are they truly worth blaming?

Think about it. The breakup was a trigger. The suffering arose within your own mind.

Would you blame poison for being poison, or your body for being unable to digest it?

Similarly, you cannot blame the trigger, but your mind for struggling to digest it.

This life lesson should teach you mental control.

If you can control your mind, you can make it serve you.

Instead of grappling with negative emotions, overthinking, and other issues, it can transform into a peaceful garden.

There are various ways to gain control over your mind.

You can try Mindfulness or engage in any of the Manly hobbies. You can also take it a step further and embrace Eastern meditations.

The most significant battle in your life is the one against your own mind.

If you don’t tame it early, it will subject you to suffering throughout your life. This is the greatest of all life lessons.

#5 You Will Need Money

While the new-age hippie idea of quitting everything and living in the mountains sounds fun, it’s not practical. Even for living in a forest (which is on government land), you need money.

Do not misunderstand the importance of money. While money is not the most important thing in life, it is still an integral part of life.

Without money, you cannot expect good relationships, friendships, food, clothing, shelter, or even basic respect.

This life lesson is something we all know; yet run away from it.

Money is a powerful tool. In 2023, money is the only way you can convey your worth.

Your thoughts, ideas, and positivity won’t be respected; but your thick wallet will be,

You will need money, and for that, you will need to put in the work.

Find ways to make more money. Do not be satisfied with one source of income because if you’ve got just one source of income, you’re just one step away from poverty.

People who do not remember this life lesson often end up broke because they think they’ve got it all in control.

Master personal finance and manage your money like a master so you never have to beg a friend when it’s month-end and you’re financially tight.

#6 Looks Matter

Women may convince you that looks don’t matter, but they really do. Not just for them, but for men too, looks matter a lot.

Ask any guy or girl whom they’d want to date, and the first quality they list isn’t going to be “a gentle soul” but an “attractive partner.”

We’ve got eyes, so we like to use them. There’s nothing wrong with that. This isn’t even a life lesson but a fact.

So do not sit assuming that you’ve got such a beautiful character or soul and some lucky women will magically see through it.

No. Women like an attractive partner, and you have to learn to groom for that.

Learn to wash your hair, pick up a face care routine, start a PPL workout and maintain your overall attractiveness.

You’ll also need to learn what to wear and when to wear specific clothing.

It goes to show that you’re not just a kid whose mom picked out his outfit; you’re a man who’s serious about how he presents himself.

This life lesson should be remembered at all times.

Women love men who can take care of themselves because that’s a symbol of maturity.

Immature boys may run around in shorts and a t-shirt, but men dress to impress.

#7 A High-Value Woman is Worth It

A high-value woman is worth your time, attention, and love. A high-value woman isn’t an ordinary woman; she is the goddess among the villagers. She’s worshipped by other women.

A high-value woman is profoundly devoted, commanding, yet humble. She possesses the capacity to lead both genders, and she stands as a queen.

She isn’t one of those girls that bring relationship red flags with them. She’s beyond them.

Finding such a woman is an incredibly challenging quest, but if you succeed, do not let her slip away.

This isn’t just a life lesson, but a serious recommendation.

However, realize that to discover her, you must first become a high-value man yourself.

High-value women are commonly drawn to Sigma males or Alpha males, both of which are personas that originate from a high-value man.

This type of woman isn’t swayed by conventional flirtatious behavior.

She seeks serenity, aspiration, and influence. She isn’t drawn to passivity; instead, she gravitates toward strength.

Strive to find this exceptional woman, and if you do, make every effort to hold onto her.

She will be instrumental in guiding you toward success. This life lesson should shape your dating plans now.

#8 Time is Money

What you’re spending your time on today will decide where you’ll be in the next five years. Time is your best friend if you leverage it, and it’s also your worst enemy that’ll destroy you.

Why? Because it never stops. It’s on a constant move. Now you can either move with it or be destroyed by it.

The kind of friends, movies, TV series, books, and activities you spend your time on are the defining factors of your life.

This is one of those life lessons that we come across after being destroyed.

You can keep up your aspirations of becoming successful one day, but if your time goes to waste on poor choices, you won’t get anywhere, pal.

Respect your time more than you respect yourself.

Do not spend it on things or people that do not help you climb higher. If they want to keep you at the bottom, kick them out.

Design a Morning routine and a Night routine and stick to them.

Successful people do not waste time. If you meet a successful man, you’ll understand that getting even five minutes of their time is like finding a diamond in the rough.

They remember this life lesson because they’ve seen how precious time is.

They will not spend it on you or me. You have to act like them. You have to take total ownership of your time and not be apologetic for it.

#9 Choose Your Tribe Carefully

The people you hang out with are the real sculptors of your life. They will unconsciously design your life while you laugh with them at clubs.

Friends shape your mind. Who you hang out with and what they talk about is what your mind truly is. To say that ‘I’m not like my friends’ is a stupid notion.

Friendship is solely based on relatability.

You relate to somebody’s mind, common themes emerge, conversations happen, and a friendship is built.

Thus, you are like them whether you like it or not. This life lesson is hard to digest but its a necessity for you.

Now, because you’re like them, your life will be similar to theirs.

The things your friends talk about, how they lead their lives, and what’s their perception of the world will also become your perception.

Remember, if you spend time with B-grade people, you will lead a B-grade life. If you spend time with A-class people, you will lead an A-class life.

The choice is yours. Remember this life lesson.

#10 You Need a Side Hustle

As I said earlier, you need an extra source of income and for that, you need a side hustle.

It can be anything, ranging from creative pursuits like content writing to more serious tasks like freelance consulting. Whatever sails your boat, man.

Having a side hustle is the only way to buy assets in 2023. You cannot depend on your job for that.

In such an expensive market; you need an extra income. This isn’t even a life lesson, its a fact from our reality.

Having a side hustle not only helps you make an extra income which ensures financial stability, but is also a great way to engage your mind.

It makes your mind more focused and ambitious because the more you make, the more you like the work. It boosts your confidence and gives you an activity to put your mind to.

A side hustle also helps you experience things and network with people that form a strong part of your life.

These experiences and people will help shape your life going ahead.

Get a side hustle you can dedicate yourself to, that you’re passionate about and you’re good to go. This life lessonshould be remembered at all times.

#11 Fitness is a Necessity.

Yes. It’s not a choice.

As per the Philosophy of Stoicism, a man who cannot take care of his own body isn’t worth calling a man. Fitness is a necessity.

As men, we’re the protectors of the world.

The people that we love depend on us for their safety and if not for ourselves, we have to become the strongest at least for them.

This is not just a life lesson, but a philosophy that every man should follow.

Even in the dating world, a man’s first impression is the display of his fitness.

An unfit man is not getting the best dates no matter how beautiful his ‘soul’ might be.

You have to show yourself as the ultimate warrior.

Every woman who looks at you should know instantly that you’re a man of discipline and action.

She shouldn’t think you’re just an unhealthy lump of meat who binges on Netflix, devours food, and is incapable of performing in bed.

You have to present yourself the way you want to be treated. Remind yourself of this life lessoneveryday.

Take up a PPL Split, Calisthenics, or curated Cardio workouts.

If not these, at least take up the 30-day Weight Loss Challenge or the infamous No Sugar Challenge.

That’ll make a lot of difference.

#12 Sex isn’t an Achievement

It doesn’t matter how many women you’ve had sex with; it’s not an achievement, bro. Stop taking your body count as a matter of respect.

Labeling women as a ‘body’ is not a gentleman’s way. Lying incels do that because they’re trying to prove their #coolness.

You’re way better than that. Don’t take this as a life lesson but a mindset that you have to design.

Sex is a natural part of life, just like food and water. It’s your body’s natural function as per the Kamasutra.

Even animals have sex, way more than humans. Ever heard a dog discussing his sexual conquests?

No. Because it’s a basic part of life.

Do not take sex to be an achievement otherwise your life will become only a pursuit for sex.

This life lesson is realised way later in life when you’ve lost everything.

Also, hook-ups aren’t cool, bro. They are a powerhouse of innumerable STDs, emotional trauma, and whatnot. Do not take them to be achievements either.

Keep it where it should be; below the belt. Do not let it get to your head.

Remember to build respectful relationships and use sex as a tool for intimacy rather than making it the soul of the relationship.

#13 Porn Will Destroy You

Men who cannot get enough sex often turn to porn to feel confident about themselves, but even that doesn’t work for a long time.

What seems like the most pleasurable activity one can perform soon turns into a curse that crushes the man.

It turns into Porn Addiction, which is one of the most dangerous mental ailments in 2023.

This addiction destroys relationships, confidence, and the overall drive of a man. This results in a depressed man who cannot even communicate clearly anymore.

The reason I’m sharing this life lesson with you is because I don’t want you turning into ‘that’ man.

Men suffering from porn addiction often end up harming themselves, which only emphasizes the power of this addiction.

While porn is a great temporary relief for the built-up sexual tension, if it has become a regular part of your life, you’re in trouble, young man.

You may consider watching porn to be a ‘modern habit’, but any habit, when it goes out of control, turns into poison.

This life lesson should be remembered at all times.

Your phone and your hand will be your downfall.

They will destroy you in ways you cannot possibly imagine, and in the end, you’ll be a weak, sensitive little man that women ‘choose’ to ignore.

#14 Its Okay to be Lost

Yes. There’s no need to worry about why you’re lost and where you are. It’s a natural part of life. You, me, and everybody on earth have felt lost at least once in life.

Life is complicated, and navigating it is challenging. It’s only natural to be feeling lost at times. This life lesson is one that everybody realises around their 30s.

The fact that you feel lost means you took the journey, you left home, and are on the way.

It’s a great thing compared to those who never even leave their comfort zone.

You won’t be lost for very long, though because when life gets complicated, you also find ways to get through it.

No lock is made without the key; no problem is made without a solution.

Try to find your purpose by asking yourself these two questions.

What makes me happy?
Would I work endlessly for it?

If you find it, it’s time to get on it. No delay. This is your life purpose. You have to take it up with passion and dedication and put yourself on the path again.

Will you be lost again? Yes, but you’ll remember your purpose again and move forward.

The ship that is lost on the sea is a ship that doesn’t know its destination.

Decide your destination, chart a path, and get moving. It might take 2 years or 5 or even 7 years, but you will reach there if you just don’t stop.

The key life lesson here is to keep moving no matter what happens.

#15 Invest in Yourself; Stop Impressing

I’ve met countless men who’d spend hundreds of dollars on branded clothing, accessories, and electronics only to impress people. Fun fact, they end up broke and on the street.

Do you want to be like them? No. Right? Then remember the life lesson I’m about to share with you.

The thing is, we’re taught in the modern world that respect is earned through money alone, but that’s not true.

Although money is important, other aspects of your personality such as speech, thoughts, and leadership also matter.

Try to impress people with what money can’t buy; character.

You should be a person that people naturally want to be around because your personality speaks volumes.

Do not spend your money to impress people. If you do want to spend your money on people, consider charity.

When you spend money on brands just so that random women will get interested in you; you have no right to say that women only love you for money.

Of course, they’ll love you for money; that’s what you’ve put on display here.

Show people what makes you different. This life lesson will change the way you think about yourself.

#16 Let It Go

What is behind should be left behind. There’s no point in bringing it into the present.

You may like the comfort of yesterday, but it’s ruining your today and will certainly crush your tomorrow.

What’s gone is gone. Thinking about it isn’t going to change anything.

Your ex won’t magically reappear in your life, nor will anything you lost.

Do not spend your precious time and energy on the past.

Instead, leverage them to build a powerful future. Embrace the power of being single.

Nobody cares about the past of a loser; they all like to listen to the stories of the winner.

This is a life lesson that people realise around their 40s and they have no way to undo what they’ve done so far.

You can either sit crying about what happened or throw it away, get up like a man and move on.

How long will you suffer for something that happened long ago?

Your past isn’t a time period; it’s just a memory. Control your mind, use mindfulness to return to the present, and let go of what’s gone.

If you like hearing “aww” from strangers, their fake sympathy, limited attention, and validation, then stay where you are.

But soon, they’ll call you a loser too. Remember this life lesson at all costs.

If you don’t want all this and just peace alone, move on without a second thought.

Winners don’t stay in their past. They work in the present to build an incredible future.

#17 Why Worry? Why Worry?

Worrying is a common element of human life. We all worry, be it about relationships, careers, friendships, family, or something else.

We worry because we think we have no control over our lives. Letting go of control is hard for the human ego because control equals assurance.

When we’re assured, we relax; therefore, control is necessary for us. This isn’t a life lesson, but a fact.

However, life is not that easy to tame. Most humans can’t even tame their minds; forget life.

In situations where you’re worrying, just remind yourself of this:

If you can control the situation, why worry?

If you cannot control the situation, why worry?

In either case, worrying would lead to no fruit other than anxiety.

If you can control the situation, it means that you have the ability to take action and change its course. If you cannot control the situation, it means worrying about it is useless because that won’t change anything at all.

Let it go. Bring yourself back to the present and focus on your work.

Things have a knack for falling into their place in time. This life lesson should be remembered when you get anxious.

#18 This Shall Too Pass

It’s natural to go through tough phases in life. We all do.

Whatever is hard for us to manage is a tough phase, and there will be many of these throughout your life.

But just as all seasons pass, the phases, too, will pass.

Nothing stays in this world; it is ever-changing, always in motion. This life lesson is very hard to realise unless you’re very observant.

Think about it. Did your happy phase last? No. Will your sad phase last? No.

You’ve been happy and sad throughout your life, and no phase has lasted long. What makes you think this one will?

The fundamental nature of life is change.

Whether you like it or not, all phases will inevitably pass. Change is the only constant, my friend.

Remind yourself every day that “this shall too pass”. This is the greatest life lesson of my life.

If you’re in a phase of suffering today, you’ll be joyful tomorrow. If you’re joyful today, you’ll suffer tomorrow.

After the dark night comes the bright morning, and after a beautiful evening comes the dark night.

Do not worry about what is going to happen; know that everything that is going to happen will only last for a little while and then go away.

When you fix your mind on your goal, you shouldn’t worry about any other aspect of your life.

Keep walking on your path and do not mind a few happy days or sad days.

They’re all a part of the experience called life.

#19 Let Them Talk; Just Walk

The elephant doesn’t stop walking no matter how many dogs bark at him. The world is by nature gossipy. They love gossip, and they love to share things.

You and I do it too. Haven’t you ever gossiped about someone? You did. Right?

It’s human nature to share things, like I’m sharing life lessons with you right now.

People will talk about you, and it doesn’t matter if you’re a good person or a horrible person; it’s just how the world is.

You have to stay focused on your goal and keep moving because if you stop and counter every talk, you won’t get very far.

Ever wondered why a Lotus blossoms on a pond? How does it maintain balance?

It maintains balance because it goes straight toward the sky; it doesn’t bend here or there. That’s how you should be.

You should shoot straight toward your goals and not bend here or there to talk and counter people’s arguments.

If they talk, let them talk. Continue your walk. You’re better than them.

Remind yourself of this life lesson every time you get concerned about what others are saying about you.

#20 You Are Unique!

Irrespective of what the world tells you, you are special. You are unique.

Despite all the hardships that you’ve faced in the world, you’ve come so far.

You didn’t lose; you didn’t give up. You fought valiantly, and that by itself takes immense courage.

Your uniqueness shouldn’t be defined by the world. You should define it yourself.

This life lesson is the most important to remember to stay sane in a surprisingly crazy world.

If you don’t tell yourself who you are, the world will give you a definition, and that isn’t going to be pretty.

Think about it. You have a unique character, a unique body, and a unique mind.

Your talents are different, your skills are different, and your perception is different.

When you’re so different and unique, why settle for less?

Why accept the definition that you’re just a basic human being?

No. You’re way better than that. You’re a complete human being who can fight through life and shred the world to pieces.

Remember this life lesson not as a lesson, but a reality of your existence.

The next time somebody tells you that you’re just an ‘average’ person, walk away remembering that you’re way better than that. You’re a powerhouse of willpower.