So, you’ve had a breakup. The beautiful pictures in your mind of an ideal future have been crushed, and you’re trying to fight through the pain.
You’ve asked all your friends how to get over a breakup, but none of that sound advice works.
Well, you’re in the right place. After reading this BroBlog on getting over a breakup, you’ll become the MAN again.
According to Arthur Aron, a psychological researcher, intense love affects your brain the same way drugs and pain relievers do.
Whenever you see that person, your brain starts acting as if it’s high.
In other words, you get addicted because it spikes your dopamine and makes you feel good.
This usually happens in the 2nd stage of a relationship.
That is why when you separate, getting over a breakup gets tough because what you feel is the exact feeling you get when you’re recovering from drugs.
However, there have been countless men who’ve been through all sorts of breakups in life.
More men have become successful post a breakup/rejection than they would if they had an easy life.
In this blog post, we’ll share 12 high-performance ways of getting over a breakup, drawing from the experience of men around the world.
How a Breakup Can Change Your Life for the Good
Reality is totally different from the weekly sitcoms that have filled your mind with unrealistic expectations.
There’s always a happy ending in any movie or TV series, which makes us think we’ll have one too.
However, reality comes along, and things end.
It can be tough to figure out how to get over a breakup, especially if it was a serious relationship.
Your mind won’t be ready to accept reality because fantasy is better. Even Sigma males struggle with this.
However, we’ve seen more men fight through breakups and become absolute alphas in no time.
Wanna know how they did it? They accepted a simple fact of reality, that is:
There will be suffering in life and darkness and chaos of all kinds, but men who fight through everything with wide shoulders and bright eyes will one day own the world.
Love is a part of your life; it isn’t your entire life. There are multiple aspects to you other than a relationship.
You might be a good friend, a son, a brother, or colleague, and more.
You might be a mentor to someone, an inspiration for somebody else. Getting over a breakup would be extremely easy if you just realise how powerful you truly are.
There is so much in you that you should never define your value by one aspect of life.
You need to remember this in the journey of getting over a breakup.
You might ask yourself why this happened to you.
We don’t know, but it’s not exclusively happening to you.
An average man goes through around eight break-ups in his life and then finds the one.
This brings the probability of finding true love to very low.
However, this doesn’t mean you won’t find love in the world.
If you’re lucky enough, your next partner may turn out to be the love of your life.
What you must specifically remember is this is a time of growing up and becoming the MAN.
This is the ultimate self-growth era that you can use to propel yourself.
While getting over a breakup, whatever you learn, master, and become will last for the rest of your life.
Take this period as a valuable life lesson, and you’ll see yourself winning every day.
12 Proven Ways of Getting Over a Breakup
In learning how to get over a breakup, you must understand that everything takes time.
While you’re in the process, you shouldn’t give up. You’re a man, and we expect you to fight through the suffering to emerge as a warrior.
After reading this post, getting over a breakup wouldn’t even feel like a challenge to you.
Everything we’ll discuss from here on should be taken as Bro-To-Bro advice.
This isn’t a blog post for numbers; we genuinely want to change your life.
Do Not Seek Closure
When a woman breaks up with you and uses cliché phrases such as “It’s not you, it’s me” or “You deserve better,” it really hurts, and we understand that.
This provokes a feeling of going back and seeking a proper closure, an answer to your silent questions.
However, it’s more than important to resist this temptation, especially when you’re getting over a breakup that’s recent.
Instead, it’s best to wish her good luck, walk away and never look back.
This shows you’re a strong and capable man who can handle a breakup gracefully.
It’s not worth beating yourself up over seeking closure because this brings desperation to the surface.
If you have any of her belongings, like her photos, books, or clothes, get rid of them.
Holding onto these things will only make you suffer by triggering certain memories.
Getting over a breakup won’t be very hard if you accept the closure that’s been given to you.
You can’t chase her for more reasons because this will only prolong the pain.
Remember, you’re an Alpha Male who respects himself, and you cannot crush your personality just because you want closure. Move away to move on.
Exes Can’t be Friends.
After a breakup, you might get so desperate that you’d want to be friends with your ex.
But let me break it to you; its not a good idea.
I hear tons of guys saying they’re still friends with their exes while their exes are busy kissing somebody right in front of them and this prevents them from getting over a breakup.
They stay in that loop forever.
This is a crushing jab to your self-respect.
How can you, a high-value man, let another man take your woman and make you watch? Walk away.
Getting over a breakup requires you to cut ties and move on.
Even though relationships are multi-dimensional and have many facets, people with a sexual history cannot stay friends.
Why? Because your mind would not want to get over that woman as it sees a sexual possibility in this relationship.
It’s important to be very specific about the kind of relationships you want in life. Do not let desperation or loneliness cloud your judgment.
We think you deserve a meaningful and fulfilling relationship, not just a weaker version of what you used to have.
Note that you’re getting over a breakup, and it’s okay if you made the mistake of staying friends with her, but we’d highly recommend cutting ties and moving away.
If you don’t do this, it will soon turn into a toxic relationship/friendship that will hurt you even more.
Addictions Don’t Fix Heart
One of the first things men run to when getting over a breakup is alcohol and smoking to feel good.
While this seems like an easy solution, it’s the worst thing to do after a breakup.
Once your mind understands that being sad equals more drinks, it will keep you sad.
It’s easy to think that you have absolute control over your alcohol intake and smoking habits, but the day it turns into an addiction, recovering from it will be another challenge.
“A man doesn’t allow a bottle or a smoke to shake his mind. He puts them where they belong.”
Remember, you’re getting over a breakup and you can’t replace a person with alcohol.
It will hurt the same way going forward.
I once had a friend who was getting over a breakup, and somebody told him about a nearby bar to let out some steam.
One thing led to another, and he became a heavy drinker and a chain smoker.
He ended up burning all his cash and spiraled into debt. He then had to ask his friends for money, including me, and it took him about three full years to recover from this.
By the end of it, everybody in his contact had lost respect for him, stopped talking to him, and started ghosting him.
Finally, he was out of his social group because people saw him as incapable of getting over a breakup.
They knew that he’d do this again if he had another breakup.
Do not get to that point. Do not try even one drink or one smoke, no matter how much people insist.
You are a high-value man, and you have to have that level of self-control to say No to these things.
ALSO READ: 12 Secrets of Women All Men Must Know
Handcraft your Future
A breakup is a fantastic time to build your future by hyper-focusing on your personal and professional growth.
The ability of a man to transform an emotion like sadness into passion is undefeated.
Ambitious men find getting over a breakup extremely easy because they use it as an opportunity, not a challenge.
Take that pain and use it as a motivation to turn around your life.
Go out there, network with people, build a body, and plan a future. Get to work.
To do this, you must eliminate distractions like your phone or social media and dedicate every minute of your day to productive work.
“Here’s a simple rule to follow: Anything that doesn’t get you peace, money, or sex shouldn’t have one minute of your time.”
Suppose you’re done for the day and don’t have anything else to do; try doing some chores around the house.
Clean that fridge or set your room straight. Establish a daily routine to work harder on things that actually matter.
When I got cheated upon by a woman I loved dearly, instead of telling my friends about it or getting depressed over songs, I turned into a workaholic.
This tremendously simplified my journey of getting over a breakup.
I was working 16-20 hours a day non-stop with my headphones plugged in, and I did end up changing my life in less than six months.
By the end of six months, I had a strong body, a stronger mind and a good bank balance and career.
Don’t Advertise Your Sadness
I’ve noticed that many of my friends post their heartbreak stories and negative thoughts on social media when getting over a breakup.
While I do understand that times are difficult and you want to share, this might drive many people away if it gets annoying.
Everybody’s having a hard day; this reality is really harsh.
They come to social media to escape their mundane lives, and they’re bombarded by a series of dark thoughts.
What do you think they’ll do after this?
They’ll start unfollowing you, canceling you out, and you’ll end up alone.
Instead of dwelling on the pain, try more positive things like unfollowing her or following healthy Instagram pages like our MenVerve Page.
If possible, consider taking a social media detox to free your mind.
While it’ll be tough to stay away from your phone, it can actually help you heal better because you won’t come across any love/breakup-related content that can upset you.
Remember, the best way of getting over a breakup is to strive to be better, not bitter.
New Love Can’t Fix Old Pain
Many men, when getting over a breakup, tend to jump into other relationships to get over their exes.
However, this ends up being a more painful experience than the first breakup.
Why? Because as we said earlier, love is an addiction, and you cannot replace an addiction with another of the same kind.
“New love cannot replace the pain of old love. It just cannot.”
During this time, you’ll unknowingly bring negative energy into the new relationship, which will end up hurting both of you.
Also, it’s unfair to make the new woman suffer for your ex’s actions.
It’s critical to take a good time to heal when getting over a breakup, as this will develop a new personality out of you that the next relationship will benefit from.
Do not seek new women. This will put you into a spiral of unhealthy relationships, which will inevitably crush you emotionally, and as a high-value man, you can’t take that risk.
Reconnect with your Tribe
There’s a good chance that while you were in a relationship, you might have neglected spending time with your family and friends.
However, now’s the perfect time to rebuild those bonds.
Nobody other than your tribe will be there for you when getting over a breakup. Embrace them.
Your loved ones have been with you through thick and thin, and they’ll help you get over this breakup.
Get back with them, revisit the good old memories, and laugh around a round table.
The reason I’m asking you to do this has very much to do with human psychology.
Most of the dangerous men throughout history have been loners.
Do you know why they did horrible things to other people? Because they had nobody to tell them what was right and what was wrong.
Society, specifically your people, has a key role in keeping you sane.
Take them out of the picture, and you’ll become a slave to your own mind that only seeks revenge.
“A man doesn’t have friends, he has warriors who’ll go to the depths to hell to save him.”
Plan a fun outing with your family or catch up with your friends in a coffee house.
It’s okay to share your feelings with your tribe, but do not dwell on the past and constantly complain about your ex.
This will make getting over a breakup extremely easy for you.
She’s gone, and so should her memories. Oversharing makes people think you’re seeking validation for your breakup, and it pushes them away.
Remember, getting over a breakup, especially when you have your people with you, becomes a cakewalk because they constantly remind you of your good qualities.
ALSO READ: 16 Signs She Likes You for SURE!
Peak Self-Growth
A breakup is a perfect time to master a skill, develop an attitude, or even build a body.
Why? Because there are no distractions at this point.
You are absolutely alone, and you can use this time to enhance every aspect of your being.
Use this time to explore new interests, pick up some new hobbies, or try something entirely different from usual.
Maybe you have always wanted to learn to play guitar or get in the boxing ring, or perhaps build a powerful body.
When getting over a breakup, you have a lot of time at disposal. Use it for good.
You can pursue everything you want, anytime, without being distracted. This is powerful.
You can also focus on your career and chart a plan for the next five years.
Getting over a breakup would be the last thing on your mind when you’re occupied with thoughts of the future.
Take up a new skills-based course to help you achieve your professional goals. Join a gym and get a six-pack to boost your self-confidence. Buy that instrument and start playing.
Remember, it’s critical to pick self-improvement over wallowing in sadness. Socrates once said,
“It’s a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.”
Take this opportunity to build an ideal body, generate sources of income and live your life to the fullest.
Embrace Singlehood
When you were in a relationship, you constantly had to seek approval from your girl before making any valuable decision.
We know it’s exhausting. But you can do anything you want when you’re single.
Nobody’s going to question you any more.
Stay out late, hang out with women, and make honorable decisions. Become unstoppable.
When getting over a breakup, it’s necessary for you to embrace the power that singlehood brings with it.
Being single is perhaps the most underrated thing today.
People don’t realize that the freedom to do whatever you want is greater than the worries of upsetting your partner.
You are a man, and you’re supposed to lead the ideal life.
How will you do that? By taking powerful decisions and performing rapid actions.
You couldn’t do this when you were in a relationship, but now’s the time.
Here are a few things you can do:
- Take that solo vacation you’ve always wanted, using the money you saved.
- Pursue your dream job, even if it’s in another city.
- Enjoy a whole pizza without fear of judgment.
- Treat yourself to a solo date, just as you used to treat your ex.
- Go to bed early, knowing that you don’t have to wait for any phone calls or messages.
You will very quickly realize that being single is the true power.
While everybody else is involved in soul-sucking relationships, you’re out here winning every day.
You need to start taking care of yourself, King.
Once you start doing things that you like without answering to anyone, you’ll realize that getting over a breakup isn’t even hard because you’ll enjoy being single now.
Patience is your Friend.
When you’re trying to figure out how to get over a breakup, it’s normal to want to feel better quickly and get rid of the pain.
However, it’s critical to know that actual healing takes time.
Nothing special in life will happen overnight. Just like Rome wasn’t built in a day, great things take time, including your healing.
You might hate the feeling of getting over a breakup, but being hard on yourself isn’t going to work.
Take a good amount of time to get back on track, don’t rush yourself.
Some people move on in like three months, while others take six or more. Each person has a different timeline, and so will you.
Practice patience, fall in love with solitude, and find yourself again.
The men who build the tallest structures in the world don’t want to do it in a month.
They know it’ll take time because time makes things perfect.
ALSO READ: How to Flirt with Women Like a Master
The Answers to your Future lie in Your Past
When you were in a relationship, there’s a good chance that you might’ve overlooked certain flaws or red flags in your woman because you were in the second stage of your relationship.
However, after a breakup, it’s important to take a step back and reflect on the qualities of your ex that you wouldn’t want in your future partner.
Also, it’s equally important to look at yourself and discover what about you could be changed.
This way, you’ll ensure a healthy relationship going forward.
You’re also a human, and you’ve most likely made many mistakes in that relationship.
Sit down, reflect on your own flaws, and try to become a better partner for your next one.
When getting over a breakup, looking at it both ways is critical.
Neither were you perfect nor was she. You both were human.
Part of being a human is making mistakes, which you both did.
Seek objective reality instead of subjective satisfaction. Look at yourself and your ex as objectively as possible, and you’ll uncover many flaws.
Treat your Time like Money
Your time is precious, and you’ve wasted quite a lot of time getting into the wrong relationships.
Now that you have your time, let’s build something out of you.
As a man, you must face the chaos of reality with your head held high and cut through suffering like a knife.
It’s natural to struggle with your emotions, but if you use this time to sit around watching Netflix, eating nachos, and not working out, you’ll regret it later.
When getting over a breakup, you should attempt to romanticize your suffering.
You’re not part of a movie where you’re the lead character going through pain. This is reality.
“Do not experiment with anything that gets you sad; we can’t waste time, pal.”
Stop listening to songs that make you sad or movies that remind you of her.
Stop playing video games to distract yourself, and don’t go out to clubs anymore.
Use this time to rediscover your lost identity and priorities.
Love those you neglected, do that which you couldn’t, and become the man you’ve always wanted to be.
Sitting around and waiting for life to bring luck into your reality is a waste of time.
Luck comes to those who prove to the universe that they’re worth it.
Show the universe how capable you are by working on yourself as best as you can.
Getting over a breakup will become a cakewalk if you start taking responsibility today.
Do not let a woman’s thoughts, opinions, or decisions consume your life.
You’re a high-value man, and you have to stand there, unfazed.
Create the life you’ve always wanted by dedicating every minute of time you have to something productive.
The Bottomline
The beautiful thing about grief is that it’s not permanent.
It teaches us lessons that can only come from experience, where time is the ultimate teacher.
Try mindfulness meditation if you can, to stay in the present.
Finding the right partner is tough because it’s worth the effort.
The love that comes easy is the hardest to keep, and the love that comes hard is the easiest to keep. Always pick the second route.
In the journey of finding a partner, you might see many breakups, and that’s fine as long as the destination is beautiful.
Getting over a breakup is an achievement, and although breakups are inevitable, they’re also necessary for personal growth and learning how to build healthier relationships.
Build a better man out of this experience. Become an Alpha.
All the best, King!
