When you meet successful people who have honed their expertise and achieved success of all sorts, it’s natural to feel like a failure.
On the contrary, it’s also natural to think that reaching their level is a simple task.
However, as you climb the ladder, you consistently fail.
You take the first step, and even the second step doesn’t seem hard, but as you cross a certain threshold, you receive a pushback.
You might even question, “Why do I feel like a failure? Why can’t I climb the ladder?”
You may even convince yourself that “This isn’t meant for you” because you’re afraid of trying one more time.
In any case, know that self-criticism isn’t going to do you any good.
When you go through setbacks and feel like a failure, you still have a choice to stay down or rise again.
How you exercise this choice is what matters.
However, it might also be true that you have certain habits or ideologies that prevent you from climbing higher.
You might even have friends, a type of lifestyle, and a perception that makes you think, “You’re doing fine.”
15 Reasons Why You Feel Like a Failure
Becoming successful isn’t eradicating failure but embracing it.
However, some people take this philosophy so far that they consistently start to feel like a failure.
They don’t even get up to work. That shouldn’t happen to you.
We’re here to help, and based on our extensive experience, here are 16 reasons why you feel like a failure.
You Don’t Have a Goal
If I were to ask you, where do you see yourself in 5 years? Could you give me a precise answer?
And by precise, I mean an answer that is extremely micro-targeted.
Without a specific destination in your mind, it’s natural to lose your way and feel like a failure.
You’re like a ship lost at sea that has every equipment functioning but doesn’t have a direction to head towards.
As long as you depend on “I’ll see what happens,” you’re not getting anywhere, pal.
As a man, you don’t wait for things to happen; you make things happen.
In order to make things happen, you have to identify what it is that you want to be.
To tackle this, take the time to identify your ambitions and establish hyper-targeted goals.
Break those goals into smaller, manageable micro-goals that you can consistently achieve.
This will give you a sense of direction and purpose.
To do this, learn to make SMART Goals.
SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
- Specific: It should be extremely precise and targeted.
- Measurable: It should be quantifiable to track progress.
- Achievable: It should not be outlandish or unrealistic.
- Relevant: It should contribute to your larger goal.
- Time-bound: It should have a defined start and end date.
Here’s an example of a smart goal.
- Specific: I will start a WordPress Blog
- Measurable: I’ll spend at least 6 hours a day improving my writing and marketing.
- Attainable: I used to read a lot growing up, and I can use that expertise to write.
- Relevant: I love sharing my life with other people, and I’ll enjoy it.
- Time-bound: I will start marketing from September 4th and build a $1000 blog before July 6th of next year.
Once you’re done making something like this, outline specific steps and milestones required to accomplish your goals.
It should be a structured roadmap that allows you to track your progress along the way.
Now that you’re done, get to work.
You Fear Failure
Another reason you may feel like a failure is that you’re afraid of failure itself.
Since you’re afraid of failure, you don’t take the necessary actions to win, keeping you exactly where you are right now.
Remember, people who’ve not failed do not ever taste success.
Why? Because you need to learn to win, and in order to learn, you’ll fail multiple times. I remember my mentor saying to me:
“The only difference between a winner and a loser is that the winner tried one last time.”
Instead of letting fear paralyze you, embrace it as a mode of learning.
Winners don’t wonder, “Why do I feel like a failure?” instead, they ask themselves, “What have I learned from this experience?”
That is what sets them apart.
As per clinical psychologists, the only way to tackle the fear of failure is by facing your failure head-on.
By doing this, you open yourself up to endless possibilities and the potential for remarkable achievements.
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You’re Not Organised
Let me ask you this; if you don’t know where you’re heading to, would you take out your car for a drive? No. Right?
You always have a destination in mind, which helps because you get to organize yourself in a certain way.
Think about taking a drive. You take out your car, switch on the lamps, fasten your seat belt, set up navigation and then move. Right?
It’s the same in life. You will always feel like a failure if you have no direction, my friend.
You have to be organized to reach where you want to be.
If you’re going through life without planning and organization, you’re just a feather in the wind of life.
Life will knock you from one place to the other, and you’ll lose all control.
In order to gain control of your life, the first thing you must do is gain control of yourself. Ask yourself questions like these:
- Am I at the peak of my health?
- Am I consuming knowledge every day?
- Am I the smartest in a room?
- Do people follow me as a leader?
- Is my life in order?
If your answer to these questions was a “No,” it’s time you start fixing your life.
Just like the SMART goals we set earlier, you have to adopt the idea of “Compound Growth.”
Compound Growth is a system developed at MenVerve that helps you improve all areas of your life without putting too much pressure on you.
The core idea behind this system is: One has to improve all areas of his life together to achieve maximum effectiveness.
Here’s how to do that.
- Identify the areas you lack: fitness, business, relationships, etc.
- Design SMART goals for each of these areas
- Integrate these goals into your daily routine
- Perform your tasks with discipline for six months.
Here’s a real-life example of one of our followers, Jeremy, who tried this method.
26-year-old Jeremy was extremely overweight, had no relationships, and was a poor performer in his company. This was his journey:
Health: He identified the habits that led to his weight loss.
He set a SMART goal and learned about muscle-building and high-protein diet. He allocated 2 hours a day to his health.
Work: He identified the skills he required to outperform others.
He set a SMART goal and discovered sources to help him learn. He allocated 3 hours a day to mastering skillsets.
Relationships: He identified why he seemed unattractive to women.
He set a SMART goal and figured out how to dress, flirt and be an Alpha Male. He allocated 1 hour a day to master these arts.
In the span of 14 months, Jeremy lost about 32 lbs in weight, got promoted at work because of his new skills, landed a relationship with a beautiful girl, and got engaged.
He doesn’t feel like a failure anymore because he won.
Without properly allocating your time and resources, inefficiencies will arise and knock you down.
If you carefully follow the Compound Growth routine, you’ll turn your life around in six months.
You Don’t Like to Learn
Lack of continuous learning can lead to a range of challenges that can cripple your success.
One of the key reasons you feel like a failure is because you know that you don’t have the capability to win just yet.
You understand that in order to win, I have to learn and do things that others don’t. Learning is also one of the greatest hobbies for men.
New technologies and trends are emerging every day, but since you don’t have a skillset to capture such opportunities, you stay stagnant and feel like a failure.
You have to learn as much as you possibly can. If you have time, take up courses on Coursera or read books. If you don’t have time, listen to audiobooks and podcasts.
Either way, it’s critical for you to learn every day.
Your competition out there is working 18 hours a day while you work 8 hours a day and think about a Netflix binge.
This will always make you feel like a failure.
If you’re not working, you should be learning. 6-8 hours a day is good for sleeping, but the rest should be spent exclusively on either learning or working.
Do this for six months, and you won’t feel like a failure anymore because you’d have won.
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You Criticize Yourself
How often do you tell yourself you can’t do it? You might not notice this, but a majority of your thoughts can be like these.
They are self-limiting thoughts that stop you from achieving your goal.
Part of the reason you feel like a failure is that you tell yourself you are one.
You criticize and doubt your abilities, which eats away at your confidence and self-esteem.
This negative inner dialogue because a self-sabotaging cycle, holding you back from pursuing your goals.
Limited beliefs can create barriers and narrow your perspective.
When you believe you’re incapable or unworthy of achieving certain things, you kill your own potential.
Here’s what self-limiting talk sounds like:
- I don’t think I’ll ever make so much money
- I don’t think I can do it
- I’m not good enough for this
- I’ll fail, and I know that
- I can’t do it
If you say any of these things to yourself, it’s time to change your perception.
Here’s a fun trick to try.
Every time you get a negative thought, immediately think of three positive thoughts.
Over time, you’ll flip the script, and your mind will accept a more positive reality. You won’t feel like a failure anymore.
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You Don’t Persist
I’ve met countless men that give up the second they meet their first setback. After that, they continue to feel like a failure until somebody pushes them up.
When you start giving up too easily, you keep missing a multitude of opportunities and eventually move toward failure.
You can’t estimate when a problem will arise and take you down.
That’s life! And you should be ready to be persistent even when things get hard.
If you don’t embrace this mindset, you’ll always feel like a failure.
Whenever you feel like a failure, just remind yourself of this one simple thing.
My comeback will be greater than my setback.
Keep pushing harder than you can, and before you realize it, you’ll achieve success.
You must remember that one failure does not define who you are; it only challenges you for what you could be.
Take your setbacks as challenges, and gamify the journey.
You Don’t Seek Help
Being open to seeking assistance is critical for gaining new perspectives, accessing valuable resources, and tackling obstacles.
When you resist seeking help, you limit yourself to your own knowledge and perspectives.
This makes you feel like a failure because you feel unable to get out of a situation.
Opening yourself up to different viewpoints and expertise can bring you many new ideas, strategies, and solutions to succeed.
Another problem with not seeking assistance is feeling overwhelmed and stuck.
Without proper support, you’re going to have a hard time navigating complex situations.
Once you do seek help, you can share the load, gain mentorship and break through unexpected barriers much more easily.
Learning from others, whether through mentors, coaches, or courses, can accelerate your growth and help you acquire new skills and knowledge, which will only ensure your success, and you won’t feel like a failure anymore.
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You Don’t Build Relationships
If you lack networking skills, you’ll have to walk alone while facing every challenge that comes your way.
One of the key reasons you feel like a failure is because you know that you’re alone in this journey.
However, this can be changed with networking.
People who don’t focus on networking and relationship-building tend to get lesser opportunities.
When you network with more successful people, you unlock more doorways like business collaborations or job opportunities.
Networking is also critical for support and guidance.
When you meet successful people, you learn from them, and that learning helps you stabilize yourself when things are shaky.
Learn how to network with people effectively and build positive relationships.
When you’ll have a ton of people around you on this journey, you will not feel like a failure anymore.
You Don’t Get Up
Taking action is critical for making progress, achieving goals, and realizing your dreams.
No SMART goal in the world is going to help you if you’re not willing to get up and work for it.
When you don’t take action, your ideas turn obsolete, preventing you from moving forward and realizing your true potential.
Even small steps can lead to significant results.
You feel like a failure because you have a million ideas in your head, but you don’t feel like working.
You want to stay down, lay on your couch, eat nachos, and watch Netflix.
Well, guess what? This will only take you toward failure.
One of the first things we advise MenVerve readers is to stop paying for subscription services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, and OnlyFans and start paying for services like Audible or Coursera.
This will save a significant amount of your time, which you can dedicate to working hard.
Remember, if your competition is working 16 hours a day and you’re just working 8 hours a day.
That dude is ahead of you by 8 hours every day. How on earth will you defeat him?
You’ll defeat him and climb the hierarchy by working 18 hours a day, so you beat him by 2 hours every day.
You should not be lying around; get up and get to work if you don’t want to feel like a failure.
You’re Not Disciplined
How many deadlines have you missed because you thought you’d do it later? Many. Right?
This didn’t happen because you were procrastinating but because you lacked discipline.
Lack of discipline births procrastination.
When you constantly put off tasks and decisions, you waste precious time, during which your competitor probably is working harder than you.
How can you, as a man, be at rest knowing that some other man is planning to rule over you?
Your job is conquering the world by constantly defeating your competitors, and you can’t do this by working whenever you like; you have to work as much as possible.
Not working harder makes you feel like a failure.
Build discipline by promising yourself that you will not stop doing what you’re supposed to be doing, no matter what happens.
The man who hits the gym twice a week will always lose to the man who hits the gym every day.
It doesn’t matter the amount of effort both are putting in; what matters is consistency.
Stay consistent and keep discipline in yourself, and you will no longer feel like a failure.
It doesn’t matter what’s going on in your life; Get rid of distractions, people, and things that draw your attention away and focus on work.
You Don’t Adapt to Change
In today’s rapidly evolving world, you can either sit here and feel like a failure or go out and adapt to the changing circumstances.
You’ll always be left behind if you fail to adapt to change.
Why? Because the world moves faster than you think, and if you cling to outdated thoughts, methods, or ideas, you’ll soon become irrelevant in the global economy.
Change indeed brings uncertainty and challenges, but those who adapt to it find themselves at the top.
Think about AI for a moment.
While experts worldwide feared AI and criticized it, a company like Open.Ai identified an opportunity and built ChatGPT, a generative AI system.
Similarly, while companies were sticking to keypad phone models and didn’t want to change, Apple introduced the iPhone and revolutionized the world.
There’s historical evidence that essentially proves that adapting to change in time can present more opportunities than challenges.
If you don’t want to feel like a failure, learn to move with the pace of change and win.
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You Can’t Manage Money
I’ve met many men who say, “If I only had a million dollars, I’d do this.” guess what? They’re broke. Wanna know why?
Because they can’t even manage their current paycheck, let alone a million.
You’ll always return to ground zero if you cannot manage your finances carefully.
As a man, your entire worth depends on how much money you make.
If you can’t manage your finances, you won’t be able to take risks or pursue opportunities, and you’ll always be in stress. You will always feel like a failure.
In such a time, when one can’t manage their own paycheck, people tend to take debt, which takes them further down the hole.
It creates a cycle of financial instability that impacts your well-being and makes you feel like a failure.
Also, if you don’t have money, you can’t build substantial wealth because you won’t be able to invest that money in anything necessary.
Worst of all, you will not be financially independent.
You’re Not Self Aware
One of the most important reasons you feel like a failure is you don’t even know yourself.
Understanding yourself, your strengths, weaknesses, and competencies is critical to making informed decisions in life.
Without self-reflection, you’ll never truly understand your values, passions, and long-term goals.
This will make you lose your way, hindering your ability to achieve meaningful success.
Also, you’ll keep repeating past mistakes if you’re not self-aware.
It will become difficult to recognize patterns of behaviors or areas of improvement for you.
Ultimately, you’ll start to feel like a failure and quit everything.
Do this:
Sit with yourself for an hour every day and talk to yourself about different things.
While doing this, notice what triggers you, what makes you happy, and how you feel about certain things.
Over time, this will become a habit, and you’ll become more aware.
You Can’t Manage Time
Time is money. There’s no better comparison for time.
If you cannot manage your time, you’ll lose out on all opportunities that may come your way.
Poor time management will take away your focus and productivity and overwhelm you with numerous tasks and responsibilities.
This will either lead to procrastination or burnout, both of which are hindering your success.
You feel like a failure because you think you have no control over your time.
If you just start following a specific routine, you’ll actually do more in a day than you can imagine.
Poor time management will also result in a lack of prioritization and planning, causing critical tasks to be delayed or left incomplete.
This will further lead to a cycle of stress, rushed work, and suboptimal outcomes.
Make a highly specific routine that tracks every minute of your day and follow it for six months straight.
You have no idea what time management can do for you.
Just try it, and you won’t feel like a failure anymore because your time will be in your control.
You Don’t Learn from Failure
Failure is the best teacher, and it will keep you down if you don’t learn from it.
Failure is a part of life, but you can either look at it as a setback or a lesson.
If you feel like a failure, you probably have to change your perception of it.
If you don’t learn from failure, you fear taking more risks, and when you become risk-averse, you stick to your comfort zone, and life keeps you there permanently.
At any cost, you must embrace your failure and extract as much data from it as you can.
This data will help you make calculated decisions that will take you to your success.
If you don’t learn from failure, you’ll forever be discouraged and will never be able to bounce back and win.
I meet a ton of people who complain about their life, and if you ask them, what went wrong? They go blank.
They don’t know what went wrong because they never learned from the experience.
They feel like a failure but don’t try to find out why they failed.
Failure is not your enemy; it’s not actively seeking you to crush your dreams.
It’s trying to tell you what’s wrong with your methods so you can fix them and move ahead.
Think of it like a navigation map.
The more you fail, the more you discover opportunities for improvement.
The Bottomline
The journey to success is rarely smooth, and it is normal to feel like a failure along the way.
The reasons outlined in this article shed light on common things that can make you feel like a failure, but you must overcome them all.
Failure is not a permanent state but rather an opportunity for growth and advancement.
The first step in bouncing back from failure is acknowledging that you’ve failed.
The next step is to discover why you failed. The final step is to fix the reasons for your failure and start moving ahead.
Over time, you will develop a growth mindset that will push you faster than ever toward your goals.
This growth mindset will be so strong that no failure after today will be able to crush your self-confidence.
Ultimately, failure is not a reflection of your worth or abilities but rather a stepping stone to success.
Now is not the time to feel like a failure; it’s time to bounce back.
By embracing failure as a natural part of life, learning from it, and implementing strategies, you’ll be ready for the great battle in no time.
All the Best, King!
